What if.

Did you ever thought about the past. And wondered...what if I did something different then what I did? And the presence would be totally different today and the future would still be a complete stranger as we don't know what's going to happen.

Theres so many What if in my life. And for me, I think about it a lot and yet thinking about if won't change anything. That's just how life is.

What if I stayed in the Philippines. And didn't move here to Ireland?
OR
What if I moved to Ireland and only stayed for a few years and came back to Philippines to finish school.

For me. My life would totally be upside down. Upside down in a good way. Nothing bad happening, I think it will just be a complete change and a turnover if I came back to the Philippines.

I really don't know.

Life in the Philippines is FUN. FUN. FUN. The school/studying/work may be hard. And maybe I can' cope with it. But yet...your with your friends and family who's the same nationality around you. You wouldn't feel different. The food there is absolutely gorgoues. Every type of food I love is there. And it's easily purchased. Shopping is wonderful there. Entertainment is way better over there and far from here. The weathere there is extremely hot. And it's very difficult for me as I cannot stand the heat. Although, my family won't be together. As my mam would probaly stay here in Ireland to continue to provide us with care in every single way. While maybe my sister and I would go back and finish studying. Who knows what my dad would do? And What if my sister and I went back...and my dad didn't come with us. Who knows? Would me and my sister live with a relative? and the question is. With who?

Ireland is totally different. Some good reasons. Some bad reasons. My whole family will be together. And family is very important to me. Also I made really good friends here and it would totally suck if I just left them. I hope that I changed their lives in a good way just by being in their lives, and they sure have changed mine by just being in my life. The school/study/work here is easy compared to the work in the Philippines. Here they take it slow and relax. Step at a time. Philippines they just make you do all the hard work at the same time and giving you pressure already. EVEN when your still in Primary school. Like wth?
I'm a Filipino and here, they are irish. People here are still racist. Some only. But they never show they're racism to me. They show it to different people with different race. But yet, I still feel that if they're being racist to other people. They are being racist to me. But why won't they be racist to me? I think it's because I'm friends with them and yet...I still find it awkward when people talk about their race. I want my surroundings of people to be Filipino because I'm more comfortable with them. Here. I'm comfortable with Irish people aswel but not as much as Filipino's. I'm not being racist or anything. That's just what I think.

This made me think about this topic ever since last Friday. In facebook I found my old classmates in the Philippines. Some of them are also not in the Philippines anymore. Everyone has changed. And it was sooo nice seeing them again and re-connecting with them again. And I'm sooo happy that they still remembered me. It's been over 8years now since I last seen or talked to them.

I guess I should go now. I still have tons of homework to do. Ohwell. It's nearly FRIDAY :)

Jomarie out.
xo