This feeling sucks so much. I'll never be important in his life because he knows that I'm one of those people he can put aside in his lives and then come back to them whenever he feels like it. This feeling sucks because I'm willing to do anything for him, just to spend one last time with him, to hang out with him, to hug and kiss him, to reassure that he's ok, to make him feel loved and important in my life.
Theres this friend of his, that's leaving tomorrow for Philippines for good. She's going to study there and she brought every close friends of her to her house to say goodbye and to watch the NBA Championship. And ofcoarse, Moy went. He always goes anywhere with his SC no wonder why his parents thinks he's just a boarder in their house because he comes and go whenever he feels like it. But anyway, yes. I understand that Moy has to say goodbye and everything. But what about me. Why do they get to take away Moy from me on my last few days here in Ireland. I know I'll only be gone for 6 weeks but he's still mine. And I want him.
Is it wrong that ever since I finished my Leaving Cert all I wanted to do was spend time with him. But things change, he finally got a job and he's always busy with his GYM, SC and Games so I can't do anything else except to just accept it and understand. Before all of the shit and drama happened in our relationship, before he went home to the Philippines he promised me that after my LC he would treat me out. He would save money to celebrate the end of my LC. He promised that we would watch Fast and Furious 6. He said that he would have a blow out of just myself and him because of all the hard work I put in, into the LC. But nothing happened. Things change, people change, plans gets ruined.
I'm not that important to him anymore. I can tell it. He's slowly moving away from me which confuses me so much after every heart to heart talk we both ever had. He didnt care for my LC to just support me when I needed that someone to reassure me that everything will be ok. When I was basically at that major stressed to the max point with my LC but he wasn't just there. And now, I leave for Philippines in less than 30 hours and we hadn't even had a proper goodbye yet and I doubt there will be one. He's stayin over with his friends tonight, the one I said was leaving tomorrow for Philippines. I do understand, he wants to say goodbye to his friend. But what about me? Am I not important to him? Am I not his girlfriend? He didn't care for me when I was doing my LC, he now doesnt care about me when I'm about to leave for the Philippines for 6 weeks. What's next? He's probably not going to care anyway for our 2 Year Anniversary or my birthday. He's going to be busy anyway, he always is. I'm just one of those people he puts aside and then comes back whenever he feels like it. I'm no longer his girlfriend. And this feeling really really sucks so bad. It hurts so much.
I guess I should really just accept the fact that I'm not that important to him anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment