Karma is a bitch.

I'm back. I promise and also broke the promise to myself that I would keep a low down profile for a while on the internet because I need to focus on my studies. Mocks is like next Wednesday. French and Geography first. I'm a bit proud of myself...I was manage to keep a low down profile during a few days from last Monday. Haven't blog'd at all. Not once until today, because Hey. It's a Saturday..and I officially make it a Saturday Blog'd day.

Many things has happen over the week. Seriously major drama with my friend Miss Drama Queen. Her life is like The Hills. I really very much dislike dramas but seeing as she is like a best-friend to me...I guess her dramas is my dramas. This whole boy-friend/best-friend. Two guys fighting over her is so too much. And she doesn't like it. haha. But really, she's like totally confuse that I think the boys are pushing her limits that she's thinking on becoming a lesbian. Okay. I exaggerated a bit there. But it's true. She's nearly on the verge.

Today, my mam was on the chat thing on YM to her friend in America. I came in the room which was a bad idea, because that was when her friend started talking about me. On how I should not have a boyfriend yet because I should wait for her son. Seriously. What the hell. Thats just really weird. Mother to Mother talking about dating each other's son and daughter. That just seems sad. Like you can't get a date so your going to ask your mother for help. It's acceptional if your mother is cool. Like down to earth, like Lorelai Gilmore from the show Gilmore Girls. Now...that's a laid back down to earth, go with the flow cool mom. Who is totally fine if you go up to her for dating advice. But when you go up to my mother. She's like from ancient history and she's from a different century. She's old fashion like my father who doesn't want us to get a boyfriend because who needs a boyfriend when you got your whole life ahead of you.

Which sorta got me thinking...
yeah. They might be right...well..I just think that him...the boy, who I like. I'm giving up on him. I've done this before, I have remove'd a feeling for a boy before. It was really easy with the other boys who I previously liked. So why is it difficult now. It's probably difficult now because of today. I've just finish watching the movie "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging" I totally love this movie. Because I can relate to it. HAHA. Wanting a guy you can't have. Trying many things to get him. It made me think about if I had him. I literally kept on day-dreaming about him. Which is totally bad. I kept on thinking...What my life would be if I was with him. Wishing and thinking..hey. This is easy. Why couldn't I do this and be happy while I was back with him long time ago...because back then. I was young and naive. I didn't know what I wanted and what I was bring myself into. Now...I've grown up. And I know what I'm getting myself into. These days. I know what I want. But right now. I don't want him. It's crazy I've been talking and writing about him so much and suddenly realise I don't want him.

I just realised...I don't need a boy to make me happy.

Happiness is like a Butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things...it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

I need to get my mind cleared and fix. Get organise and start being happy. Mark these words. No boys on my mind. They literally cause dramas in your life. I'm not going to wait for anything. If it's suppose to happen. Then...it will happen. Until now...no more day - dreaming about the "what if" They are done. Over. Finish. Zero. Kapish. Babooosh.

It's just Jomarie :)