I guess it's going to be like this for a while, having no communication with him. I understand, yes I am going to be busy for the next two weeks, like extremely extremely busy and I wouldn't have time at all to socialize or have a life at all. But at the end of the day I still have like, maybe 15 minutes to spare to talk to Moy. If I'm a state exam student and I can do it, why can't he.
He's on his Summer holidays and he's just enjoying himself doing whatever he did today or whatever he's going to do or whatever. I let him do whatever he wants and I give him space. I don't think it's that much to ask at least 10 or 15 minutes of his time. If he wants less, it's fine. It's the thought that counts that for that one second I was on his mind and he actually wanted to talk/communicate with me.
Maybe this is a lesson for me, for the next few days myself and Moy will probably be like this. Having little communication or no communication at all up to the end of my Leaving Cert and by the time it's all over, our routine will be adjust to the routine right now where we don't make effort to communicate and maybe, just maybe by the time of my flight to Philippines, I'll be gone for 7 weeks and it will probably make me miss him less. But who knows what will happen. I mean, to keep your man, you have to give him space, communicate and trust him, love him, don't cheat on him, and don't ask too much. Now, I know...I sorta did cheat on him. My mind was not in the right place and reading my previous posts before I kissed someone on my Graduation night. And I guess it is cheating but I don't know. I do give him space, I communicate him if I can and I am trusting him again from our problems before in the past. I love him with all my heart and I don't really ask for too much. I know I ask for some few things from him but I do know my limits. It just annoys me that we can't find the time for each other anymore to actually communicate anymore. And as always, he always messages me in the morning..if he actually remembers it. And then leaves for the rest of the day and won't communicate until late at night where I'm already tired from my day and that's when he wants to communicate when I want to sleep. But seeing that I love him dearly, of coarse I will always chose him over sleep but now, ewan ko na lng. I would understand if he was busy and he had plans and all but, is it so hard maybe to like reply to one of my texts in the afternoon or something or just give a call out of no where or just surprise me with something on my phone instead of hoping and wishing that he'll actually make effort to communicate.
I guess that is asking too much, and a lady like myself will not give a stupid crap about relationships right now because I have my Leaving Cert in one week and I am feeling the pressure and sometimes I need that special someone to calm me down but whats the point he's never around. So I am just casually calming myself down on this blog site of mine because I can express anything here and hopefully someone outside from Dublin is reading this and will understand what I'm going through. If you don't understand...just nod and smile.
So I guess this is it. Also it is my mom's birthday tomorrow. Happy 53rd Birthday Mom. Although you're never allowed to read this blog of mine but I really do appreciate everything you've done for us and for everyone around you. You are amazing and an inspirational woman. I love you Ma. Ikaw ang the best. xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment